Sunday, February 14, 2010

life is short

I usually catch up on my sleep during weekends. I normally wake up at around 10ish or so already and my mom knows that. So when she woke me up this morning at 6:30 am, I knew something was up. I was still half asleep as I tried to open my eyes to find out why my mom was standing by my door so early in the morning. And the moment she said the news, I was awakened. My cousin Jasper (known to us as Kuya Orange) passed away. As in what the f*ck?! Are you serious?! He wasn't sick or anything so my initial thought was, was he in a car accident?

Turns out he got confined yesterday at Medical City because of a tummy ache and back pain. What they thought was just a precautionary measure turned out to be the worst thing ever. He had a cardiac arrest early in the morning but the doctors were able to revive him but that left him in a comatose state already. Then his organs started to fail and the doctors said that he was having an internal bleeding but they can't say why or where it is coming from. He was being stabilized and getting ready for dialysis when he flat-lined again and this time, he didn't make it anymore. He died at 6:30 am. Less than 24 hours when he got confined.

We are all in shock and still can't believe that he's gone. We just saw him a month ago during Gabby's birthday and he was as alive as can be. He was always the makulit cousin who always had some funny story and classic hirits that left us laughing so hard. He's the eldest of the cousins in my mother's side and we all grew up together. We are a very close-knit family and we made it a point to have regular reunions. We used to see each other every weekend when my grandma was still alive. But even after she was gone, we still tried to keep in touch often. Lately though our reunions became seldom because of work and since the other cousins now have their own families that kept them quite busy. All Saints Day and Christmas are still must-have-reunions, and also when it's the birthday of one of the kids, but we try to still have one of those weekend gatherings every once in a while. We were even planning to have a summer vacation for the entire family again (we used to do this yearly before). So hearing this sad news really hit us big time.

It's just too soon. He's only 36 years old, leaving his wife of only 5 years and a 3-year old daughter behind. We still don't know yet the exact cause of his death. Even the doctors are baffled. The family decided to have an autopsy so we're just hoping that that would give us answers. We immediately went over to their house to console the family and his wife, and seeing them was just heartbreaking. I can imagine what they're going through as I just experienced the same thing less than a year ago. But this is worse especially for my Tito and Tito - having them bury their own son :( His wife was in a total loss and all that we can offer are our sympathy. His younger brother (who's about my age) is trying his best to keep a strong front as he kept the whole family together and took charge of making all the arrangements.

Until now, it still hasn't sunk in that Kuya Orange is gone. It made us all realize that life is indeed short and you can never tell when it will be taken away from you. You can never be prepared for death and the least that you could do is really make the most out of your everyday. Treat the present as if it's your last. Do the things you've wanted to do for so long, say I love you to the people that matters, live life to the fullest and have no regrets. I realized all these when I lost my dad, and now even more with the passing of our dear cousin.

I know that no amount of comforting words nor sympathy will make it ok, especially for the family that he left behind. For now, we are just praying that he's at peace already and praying for the whole family - for strength that we may come to accept what happened, be at peace with it and move on...eventually.

We'll miss you Kuya Orange...

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